What Does Your Skirt Length Say About You?

I’ve always had a love hate relationship with skirts and that’s probably why you’ll often find me in a pair of jeans.  Trying to decipher the most “appropriate” length skirt is almost harder than when I was a struggling student trying to make it through my master’s degree. Let me explain myself because you’re all probably thinking that I’m being dramatic (well more than usual)…

I think it’s pretty safe to say that you’re instantly classified as any of the following if your skirt is too short:

Hoe 

Hooker 

Promiscuous 

Skank 

Slag 

Slapper 

Slut 

Tart 

Tease 

Tramp 

Whore 

(I think you get the picture from my nice and neatly alphabetised list of adjectives – you’re welcome.)

…and if it’s tight and too short?

 (You know what I’m talking about. The kind of skirts that are short enough to double up as a bandeau because they just about save your ass from getting done for indecent exposure.)

…Well you’re just “asking for ITthen aren’t you?

On the other end of the spectrum, if your skirt is too long then of course, you must be a prude or worst yet oppressed. As much as we like it or not, we live in a day and age where we’ll unconsciously attribute certain prejudices simply based on where a piece of material lies along the length of a woman’s leg.

I’ll admit, I’m all about modesty here and you’ve probably never seen me in a mini skirt but that’s not to say that I wouldn’t wear one. Why? Despite what people might think, should you give a fuck? No – but will you? Secretly, yes. Don’t worry we all do, whether we’ll willingly admit it to ourselves or not.

It was so different back in school. There was always that unspoken rule that every girl followed:

The shorter the skirt the cooler you were.

(Honestly, who makes up this bullshit?)

 You may or may not be familiar with this but to those of you who went to an all girls high school – I’m sure you’ll know what I mean. My stupid and illogical 15-year-old self followed this like a pathetic lost sheep attempting to fit in. Can you blame me? High school can be ruthless if you don’t play the game right. To make it through your 4-year sentence unscathed, you simply followed and didn’t question it.

It was almost social suicide, if you wore a skirt that was anywhere near your knees let alone your ankles. Instead, it was a necessity to wear a skirt that just about covered your ass. Of course these skirts didn’t come like this – no, no, no. Each to their own, every girl including myself played their own version of Project Runway and exercised their creativity in shortening their skirts. I went with the “rolling method” because it was simple, easy and effective in getting the job done. When all you have to your name is a ‘B’ grade in textiles, I was in no position to be butchering my school uniform or even attempting to use a sewing machine let alone a needle and thread.

Rhea, what is this ‘rolling’ method that you speak of?

Well, it was simple really. You rolled the waistband of your skirt over (multiple times – three to be exact, for good measure) until you had what resembled a small doughnut-esque lilo around your mid-riff and voila! You had inches off of your hemline in an instant.

Honestly, the things that I did back then in the name of fitting it. It’s shockingly embarrassing.

I cannot for the life of me recall the last time I wore a skirt with a hemline that ventured anywhere below my knees. My reluctance to wear one was simply due to the fact that, it’s hard to style long skirts in a way that won’t make you look and feel:

A) Matronly

B) Nun-like

C) Old-fashioned

…or all of the above.

So I thought I’d push the boat out a little bit with my own personal style by trying to revive the tulle court skirt for the summer. Court skirts can literally be your worst enemy if you’re 5’4″. Just putting the skirt on made me want to ashamedly roll the waistband to a shorter length that I felt somewhat more comfortable with. To slap some sense into myself, I threw on my Gucci Marmont belt because Gucci seems to be the answer to everything these days!

I’m going to recommend that you find the tallest pair of heels that you own because they’re going to be your saving grace. By all means, wear ballet flats (at your own discretion, of course) but realistically the hemline is going to cut inches off your height. If you thought you felt short at 5’4″, the court skirt will bring that to a whole new level and you’ll feel like a dwarf the minute you step foot into one. You’ve got to regain that height back somehow, so I went with a nude pair of heels to round off the whole blush-toned outfit palette. If you can’t walk in heels all day then find a cute pair of wedges, it is summer after all (there are ways around these things!).

If I was going to wear a court skirt my one and only rule was that it had to be tulle. The ballet trend will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart and this look embodies the modern day ballerina without me having to even dig out my old pointe shoes, leotard or tutu from hibernation.

Tulle skirts easily bring that essence of femininity and romance, which is something that I personally love for the summer. Without even trying, tulle court skirts have the power to swing you into prom attire territory, especially if you’re not careful with your styling. So put away the tiara and save it for another occasion please! Instead, think complimentary and contrasting pieces. Like I’ve said on so many occasions – balance your outfit. Biker jackets and statement belts are great complimentary additions to tulle court skirts.

It’s 2017 people, so #Here’sToNotGivingAShit and to wearing whatever you want. Regardless of the length of your skirt people will 99% of the time have something to say. So your styling had better be on point and give them something to look at.

Lots of love,

Outfit Details:

Jacket: River Island | Top: Hollister | Skirt: Zara | Shoes: ASOS | Bag: Chanel | Watch: Larsson & Jennings | Bracelet: Louis Vuitton

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